Over The Hump + Battery Woes

So, I took my third midterm exam today. Civ Pro. Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. I know, it sounds really boring but it's actually become quite an interesting class. Of course, I've a history of reading difficult books because I think they're good for me (like fiber) so I'm probably not a good weather vane. Anyway, I've only got two left and then it's vacation time. Err, resume time, rather. Seems I've got about a bajillion resumes to send out over the break if I intend on finding a job this summer. So I've got that going for me.

What I really wanted to gripe about what something that occurred today while I was mid-exam: the battery on my laptop committed a face-saving suicide. Apparently, it had shamed its family. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: 'Man, if I was taking a really big test, I'd have my laptop plugged in'. We're on the same page, brutha. I WAS plugged in. My first thought when the machine went to sleep and the little battery light started flashing was that the outlet was dead (not a surprise in our building). I raised my hand and the proctor moved me to a new table with a fresh outlet. Still no dice. Machine said no.

Luckily, I've had a little experience with what laymen call 'technology' so I knew that the next step (step 2 of 10) in my journey to killing Michael Dell was to remove the battery and kick the tires on the laptop with only the power cable attached. Viola! Machine said yes!

So, here's the weird bit. This laptop is about a year and half old. Just yesterday I ran this mean machine on battery only for over three hours before it told me to plug it in. That, my friends, is good battery life out of a laptop. So why, I ask you, did the battery not only kill itself in the prime of its life but WHY did my laptop shut itself down with a dead battery WHEN IT WAS PLUGGED IN?

I posed this question to the Dell technician this afternoon. Her answer: "Sometimes batteries die in this fashion and I've seen this happen before". So helpful. To her credit, she did try to 'make banter' with me during the whole 20 minute transaction. 'Banter' is described in appendix B of the Dell customer service handbook. Oh, and since Dell only warranties the batteries for a year, so, yeah, you'll be buying a new one. Woohoo! By the way, Dell wants $150 for a new one. Shaun said no.

I googled the model number and found a distributor online that sells them for $100 with an 18 month warranty and ships for free (I could have gone as low as $59 but the warranty wasn't as good and the shipping was murder). I'm sure it'll all work out but the whole ordeal left a bad taste in my mouth. Dell's customer support is turbo 'process oriented' and if a part will fix it, they'll over-night it to you. This makes me happy. The problem, like all customer service lines I've experienced, is that they are so damnably 'process oriented'. To the extent that they're instructing their employees on 'modes of banter' and no one who answers the phone actually knows anything about computers. This is not good.

Ok Enough griping. My battery is on its way and I've only got two exams left. Hurray for breaks!