Well, we're down to it. Tomorrow is the first final of my legal education. Technically, it's a midterm but I hate splitting hairs. Incidentally, that characteristic may make me a bad lawyer some day. We'll see.
Anyway, I've been alternating between fear of failure and a general sense of comfortability with tomorrow's subject matter: Contracts. It's probably our most 'knowledge intensive' class. Outside of Criminal Law (which I'm sure you'll hear me flame about in a week or so), it's the only class I have where it's just not physically possible to know 100% of what you need to know. That said, tomorrow's exam is a crap shoot. I might go in there an know exactly how to analyze the fact pattern...or not. The problem is this: Even though every professor will tell you that your analysis is what matters, if you miss one issue and come to the wrong conclusion, you're screwed. Sure sure, they all give lip service to the quality of your analysis but professors are human and they want you to come to the same conclusion they would. This isn't Good Will Hunting, after all...and even if it was, none of us are savants; least of all me.
Anyway, there's some stress. If you read all those 'succeed at law school' books, you'd think that every test and every moment is both a determining factor and a milestone in your life. Lovely, but I fail to see how any other moment doesn't also meet that test. In general, law students are an anxious lot, even at my fourth-tier school...and we generally purchase such b.s. wholesale. Hence, knowing myself, I've done my best to avoid most of my compatriots in the last few days for fear of getting the anxiety sickness that I know someone's carrying. I just ask questions when I have them...and answer them when they're asked. But I don't get involved...and the folks that confer with me don't either. It's for the best really...or perhaps it's what they're really teaching. It's hard to say at this point.
Regardless, I served myself a last meal tonight just for laughs. Well, sort of. I splurged and bought all the fixin's for a wicked salad (feta, out o' season tomatoes, etc) and a very respectable chocolate ice cream. Oh, and I finally got the bulb for my selzter bottle so I've been drinking fresh-made soda most of the day. The last glass had a splash o' scotch in it for good luck. Scotch brings good luck, in case you were wondering. Mostly, it'll just be luck with the nodding off...but it's a start.
Good night, all...S.
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